***I wrote this last year.
There I sat all alone in my bedroom. A cloak of darkness wrapped around me. Suicide was at my door. In the silence, I never allowed near, I heard His voice loud & so very clear. "You need me." His voice said. And right there, I broke & gave my heart to the Lord. No church. No altar. Just me & Jesus. My life has never been the same. There have been ups & downs, just like there is in any relationship. But I haven't doubted His love. He has always been faithful, even when I wasn't. There, when I pushed away. How grateful, I am that He gives unconditional love. And that He's my Lord & Savior. I was 15, when that night took place. 15 years ago today. It's my born again birthday!
I totally forgot about this birthday until a few minutes ago. I searched my blog for the exact date, these things are great record holders. Then I went to find my journal that I kept when I was 15, to see what I wrote about this life altering day. I didn't say much, I guess I figured I would never forget about it. But I did write "I feel so good about my life now, than ever before. It's like looking at the world with a different perspective." The next journal entry was an example of how challenging my life was. After I read the pain in my words, tears came to my eyes, I stopped & thank my precious Jesus for saving me when He did. And loving me like no other. At 15, I was in the deepest of the deep & was loosing that tiny glimpse of light. His hand came bursting through all that was drowning me & pulled me to safety. There is absolutely no way, I could have lived these last 16 years without Him walking right along side of me. And there is no way I will live the rest of this life without Him. I can't imagine it.
Praise the Lord! What a beautiful testimony. Happy Rebirthday! You're gonna live forever!
ReplyDeletePTL! That brought tears to my eyes!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you had to endure those things and if I could go back and know what I know now things would be a whole lot different. That was one of the blackest years of my life: that year my Mama passed away, menopause had set in and the thought of suicide tried to enter my mind then as well.
ReplyDeleteThe Road of Life has many twist, turns, hills and valleys. Some good and some so hard that you can't see the end of them. If it weren't for my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ neither one of us would be where we are today. "You" are the only reason I kept pressing forward.
I LOVE you more than you'll ever know! MOM
Happy birthday! your testimony is so powerful! I praise God for his unconditional love daily ..I couldnt imagine Life without God and I have to say that you and your mom and the relationship you two share blesses my heart I cried when I read your post I cried even harder when I read what your mom wrote! God is so faithful to meet us right where we are! Thank you Jesus for your wooing your love and forgivness.... Crystal you are such a inspiration to so many you are a beautiful woman of God and I am so blessed that we ended up friends (God has a sence of humor) Thank you for letting me be a part of your life! i love you!
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