Change

I keep hearing the word change throughout this election season, but change means more to me than changing the way our country is ran.

Change is happening inside of me. There's something refreshing going on. I want more of my Jesus. I'm tired of settling for complacency. I'm tired of being apathetic. I want more. I long for more. I'm not the only one. God has allowed this longing for change to happen at the same time in Daniel. What a blessing to be able to come to this crossroad with my husband. Life is way too short to settle. It's amazing how God can speak to you through the little things. I am going to be honest, I have allowed my home to become...Well, not the neatest place. I'm not going to list excuses, because my back wasn't out for the last 6 months! I had become lazy....I said it L-A-Z-Y. In so many areas of my life. Letting the dishes overflow in the sink. Not sweeping the floors. Just normal everyday tasks, that I would just let go. We weren't living in a pig sty by any means, but I know it wasn't pleasing to the Lord. Some may roll their eyes at that one, but it's true, for me. I have been able to stay home (minus the one day of work), so I really have zero excuses for my house to not be in order. It's my work place. And I'm supposed to do everything as I'm doing it for the Lord. And frankly, I have been ashamed. I also have failed Him in spending true time with Him. Soaking in His word. I've let myself 'go' in a way too....That laziness again. I think back to how I was when we got married & I was one glam gal. But now, I only wear makeup on Sundays! Hahaha....So I have been challenging myself in everything I do now. And I feel so much better about myself. I have come to some not so pretty conclusions about things. So I am changing them....Or should I say...God is changing them. It's painful at times. But I have to go through that pain to live the joy. I'm being stretched, but in the end I want to stand up & say I let the Lord stretch me instead of sitting in my comfort zone allowing life to pass me by. I also want to be in a place of where Godly women get together. I have never had that. I went from being a Youth leader, to married & in the ministry, to not being in church & now in a place that honestly doesn't offer what I long for. I felt something spark inside of me, a few months back when I happened to see a gathering of Godly women, fellowshipping & worshiping together. I want that too. It's just part of the wanting more process. I want to live with purpose. I need, I long, I crave more of Him.
And it's time I do something to get that. I didn't make any real resolutions in 2008, but it looks like the Lord made them for me. I think I'll keep these.




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