The last couple of weeks have been interesting. We are trying to get used to D's new part time job. D's trying to get enough rest & I'm trying to get used to him not being at home as much. I never know when he's going to get home, which is alot different from before, when he drove up almost like clockwork.
Something that has changed in this new way of living is that I make him supper every night. I've never cooked every night, since he is someone who can cook for himself. So, if I wasn't making a meal, he would make his mac & cheese w/ hot dogs, or tomato soup & grilled cheese, along with his other nasty extras. Now, I'm making his mac & cheese & such for him & having it ready for him when he walks in the door, like a good little housewife. Last night he was eating & watching TV, while I was working on a project, when I hear him say, "I'm done." I asked him what he said & he again said, "I'm done." I then asked him, "And why are you telling me this? Is it so I will take your dishes to the kitchen?" He looked at me with a grin & shook his head "YES." I think he's getting spoiled real quick, don't you?
Of course, I don't mind it at all. I love taking care of my husband & it is what I was born to do. I'm a firm believer that if one of the spouses stays at home & the other works. Then the one that stays home should do all the housework. Now if we both worked, then we would share responsibilities. But since I'm home & D works & especially now that he's working 2 jobs, there is no way in heck, I'm going to ask him to wash dishes. The home is my job. And there are times, when I don't want to clean something, but I have to remind myself that this is my place of business.
I've seen some women who stay at home, complain that their husbands don't help out around the house. That just irks me. I feel bad if there are dishes left in the sink for longer than a day, knowing my husband is out there busting his butt for us.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
I also am a stay at home wife/mom and agree with you about taking care of the house being my job. I have absolutely no problem with keeping the house clean, stocked and everyone fed. I actually enjoy my job. My hubby works hard and I feel blessed to not have to work outside the home. The only time I have a problem is with cleaning up & picking up when someone else is just being a slob - leaving a towel on the bathroom floor or dirty socks in the living room, stuff like that. These sort of things make me feel taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl!! That's the way it should be.
ReplyDeleteYes I enjoyed cooking and cleaning when D works late too. Felt so good when the house is clean and a hot meal waiting for him.
ReplyDeleteYou go Crystal.
Good attitude. What I hate is when I hear of stay at home wives not doing anything. Sounds like you keep the home running smoothly! I think it's funny he said, "I'm done!" Reminded me of Luke. Tell him he's being saucy.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought of my home as an extension of myself. So I guess it's reasonable to say that my house looks hectic and frazzled a lot of the time! It was a lot easier to keep things clean before we had kids, although I did work. And Barry has always been quick to pick up or to do dishes. My hands blister quite a bit so I don't do a lot of sink washing. In fact, the dishes in the sink right now have been there for several days! Yikes! I am currently teaching Michael and Laurel to do things around the house. They seem to think that doing laundry would be fun! I guess it's time to turn 'em loose! (Janet)
ReplyDeleteI guess you have to have one oddball in the bunch so I will be it. I am a stay at home mom/wife too, and I feel like having 2 kids close in age that are still at the house 90% of the time is a job in itself. I am working too, I know all of you know that "keeping up with the cleaning" and such is more than just dishes and laundry. I sometimes do get upset and ask him to help me.... he lives here too and he can try. I think it might be different if maybe what we do is looked at as a job too, but when you are talking to someone on the phone and they ask who your employer is or if you work... you always have to say no, but in my mind I am thinking "yeah, my husband, son and daughter are my employer and YES I DO WORK" My thing is I don't think I get respect that I do work, my husband thinks he can do what I do with a blindfold on and one hand tied behind his back. Plus I have wanted to get a job.... to help out with finances but more than that to get me out of the house and around some adults for a few hours a week, sometimes I just feel stuck here at home. Aaron is not comfortable with kids so he wouldn't want to keep them if I do get a job. (he is getting better about it though... I have to give him that. he loves them, just doesn't really know how to interact with them) I love keeping my house clean and food on the table, sometimes it just gets overwhelming. Ok, I will get off my soapbox now. LOL Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and wouldn't trade in getting to stay at home with them, sometimes I just feel like it is more than I can do.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you Crystal! I have been a stay at home mom for over 6 years now, and plan to continue until my youngest starts kindergarten in a few years. I consider housework, laundry, cooking, kids, etc to be my "job". My hubby works all day & makes enough money to allow me to do what I want to do..and that is be with my kids & stay home right now. I do think that when spouses both work, responsibilites at home should definately be shared..that is only fair. I can say this though, to sort of agree with Dana. The responsibilities I have at home can be very overwhelming. My job doesn't start at 8:00 a.m. & end at 5:00 p.m. Its 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't get to come home at 5:00 & prop my feet up & be DONE. I am only able to do that when my kids are bathed, fed & in bed!! So it makes for LONG days. So...after saying that....I always appreciate when my hubby chips in & helps me clean up after dinner...or helps the kids get ready for bed, etc. It just shortens my day a little, and is always appreciated. But...I would never ASK him to do it. =) I just always welcome it when he offers!!
ReplyDeleteI kinda have to side with Dana. My day doesn't end at 5, so why should his? We share who does what each night, so that no one is doing all the work. I cook dinner, and one of us gives the doods a bath, and the other cleans the kitchen. We switch off each night to make it fair. By 7, all is done, the boys are in bed, and we can BOTH relax. I bust my heiney during the week so there are no chores on weekends, and we can do fun things then. The only thing that gets done on weekends is yardwork, but we all chip in, and we occasionally have a home project we work on together. That way we both have weekends off...in a manner of speaking anyway. I have no issues doing any of the chores during the week, the only thing I ask is to not make a bigger mess for me to clean (ie: not picking up after himself). I'm trying to teach the boys this too. We have 15 minutes to run around and pick up toys, and we have a treat afterwards. It works for us anyway, and everyone has to do what feels right for them...
ReplyDeleteAlright, here we go...I can't say for sure where I stand and that prob means I stand somewhere in the middle because Lee does go to work and he helps me at home. I can say if Lee said, "I'm done" that I prob would of picked up his plate and dumped it on his head (literally). At any time he thought "my job" was something that he could do better than me I would find a way to let him at it one weekend so he could see for himself- I don't sit around and eat BON BONS all day. If he wants me to sit the boys in front of the tv all day so I could clean the house from top to bottom then also more could get done. But he is a wonderful husband and helps me in whatever I need....he'll get up at night if Aidan needs him, he'll go to the grocery on his way home or pick something up if I don't want to cook, do dishes after we eat just to give me a break and never complain a bit. We both just want to do things to make things easier for the other and don't take each other for granted.
ReplyDeleteI know that if we had children, than things would be different around here. A Mom's job is never done...A wives neither. D will do anything for me, I just don't won't him too, since I'm at home all day. Now when I'm sick or my back is out, D does the dishes & laundry, & will clean anything I ask him too, without any complaint. He never complains. One thing my husband is not, is a male chauvinist pig. He would gladly do everything, if he had too. He doesn't expect me to do it. He actually gets upset with me, for doing things when I'm in pain. But what would I be, seeing as how I'm home & if I didn't take care of the needs around here. I'm not a lazy person & I'm not about to allow my house to be a pig pin, while my husband works hard. But like I said, if we had children things would be different I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteSee, you have it all figured out. And it will be different when you have kids, but I'm sure D will be just as great a daddy as he is a hubby.
ReplyDeleteBut there are some days I wish I had a magic wand, I tell ya... :)