Trusting....

Oh, what a day. I am struggling so badly with trusting God right. The baby stuff is part of it, but the thing I asked prayer for didn’t work out. And I believed with all my heart that it would happen. I feel so let down.....Again. Why trust & believe when nothing you trust & believe for ever happens? It’s not like I’m believing for something so far fetched. I’m just wanting to better our family & our life. What’s wrong with that? Why are we given such strong desires & passions, if we aren’t able to put them to use? We are told to ask & believe, but then we are told to wait for God’s will. I just don’t know what to do at times. I don’t understand. I have never in my almost 15 yrs of being a born again Christian ever struggled so desperately like this. I love the Lord with all that I am. I am praying constantly, but I think the Lord & I are having a communication problems in our relationship.

The thing is I know that certain things don’t work out, because there is a bigger plan. And to TRUST in that. But when you are in the midst of the journey, all you can see is what is around you. Something just came to my mind...

When Moses parted the Red Sea, can you imagine what it was like to actually walk through that? To step down into the place where the Red Sea was & walk on dry land? What was it like to look to the left & to the right & see a wall of water? The thoughts of it crashing down & drowning you, must have been overwhelming. I wonder what it was like to be in the middle of that crowd, or at the tail end of it. You know that they couldn’t see what the future had in store for them. They were just moving along & TRUSTING. Trusting that they would be safe & finally be on their way to the Promised Land.

Thank you Jesus for just now showing me this. That right now in my life, I’m having to cross the Red Sea, with no vision for where my next step will take me. But I’m going to have to trust no matter what. No matter where I go, trust is all I have. Oh, what a test in my faith this is.