Changes

God is doing some very interesting things inside of me. Things I saw coming, others I didn't. I'm having to learn that, I need to listen to my heart & follow what I know God's truth is & not others truth. It's so easy to get caught up in everyone else's ideas, opinions & struggles that you take them on as your own. I am taking myself out of the equations, stepping outside of the box & taking a look at the bigger picture. I am having to swallow my pride, forgive, let bitterness die & move forward.
I always find it amazing how the Lord will use bad, or hurtful situations & turn them into good. How I can make a fool of myself & then God uses it as a mirror that I have to face. We walk around thinking we are all beautiful, that we just stepped of a magazine & then when we are faced with looking into that mirror all we want to do is to take a quick glance. But sometime we need to take a good long look & realize that our roots are showing, there are some wrinkles, the mascara is running, the lipstick is smudged & there is alot of concealer, covering up blemishes. It's not pretty to look at anymore. It makes you sick & it's quite painful to see yourself in that light. Those make-up lights can expose more then you are willing to see or allow anyone else to see. It can be pretty ugly. It's difficult to look at. You have to then allow God to start wiping away the layers of years of caked on foundation. To strip it all away. To see the truth & not the mask.
The last few months, I feel I'm not the same person. There has been a major make-over inside of me. There have been some changes that I didn't expect. And some I knew that needed to take place. Relationships have changed. My relationship with my Lord & Savior & with friends. Some are stronger than I ever imagined they could be. They are on completely different levels. They are better & more vibrant.
Something that I am learning is that you have to let go. I can't control everything. You know the saying. "Let Go & Let God", well that is entirely true. It's so simple, but yet we make it difficult.
There are some situations in my life, that the old me would have immediately done what I thought was best. Like a few weeks ago, I thought I needed to do something, to 'fix' a situation. So, I went & prepared things, getting them ready. Then I started praying about what I was supposed to say in the situation & I felt God say, "You're doing it again. There ya go taking control. I have it, Crystal. I've got plans. But you are going to mess them up." I listened to Him this time, I put the things away that I had prepared & stepped out of the way & gave God the reigns again. What a peace it is to know that He is in control. Sure that situation will probably never be the way I want it to be. But I have confidence that God has a plan. He knows the future. I only see right now. I would much rather Him navigate my way in this dark world, then me. If I have to give up things & let things go, to change, then I'm a better person for it. And I'm OK with that. Seasons change.