....ALOT of thinking. There is a question I have been wanting to post for awhile, but just haven't. Then the other night Nicole & I were talking & she told me that I'm a private person. That I don't really open up. I guard myself. I laugh things off or sugar coat them (I said that). It really shocked me, because I thought I was pretty open. But then I started to really think about the things she said & I asked a few people what they thought & they agreed with Nicole. Hhhmmm....Very interesting.
When you are in Master's Commission you are always told what you need to fix about yourself. You take that info, internalize it & make changes. It can be very therapeutic. But once you are back in the world, you don't have that really anymore. You get complacent with the way you are. But if you are not constantly evolving as a person & willing to change you become stagnant. And what a very dangerous place to be.
So, here's my question to you:
How do you perceive me?
I want you to be really HONEST with me here. Not matter if it's good or bad. I want to know...It will help me grow as a person. And I want that. But if you feel uncomfortable with saying what you think on the blog, then if you have my e-mail address, e-mail me. I'm looking forward to what you have to say. So PLEASE answer the question for me.
Thanks!
HHHMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let me see.....................
ReplyDeleteProverbs 31:10-31
ReplyDeleteWell...that is hard to answer. Especially since I haven't talked to you in forever. So I guess I can only go with what I remember from long ago during MC. I remember that you were very friendly and outgoing in some ways...you were never shy about talking to people. But I think Nicole is probably right that you are guarded too. I think there was a lot that of Crystal that I didn't get to know even though I lived with you. You shared some parts, but I think the really important or personal stuff stayed hidden. Please don't take that as a criticism, since I have no room to talk. I never even pretended to be an open person. :)
ReplyDeleteNo way girl, it's not criticism. It's what I wanted from that question. I want people to be honest with me. So I won't get mad or upset, I asked for it, right? :) So thanks for being honest & taking the time to comment. I haven't talked to you or seen you in a really long time. Glad to know you are reading my blog. Thanks for doing that too! ;)
ReplyDeleteI barely know you but even from reading your blog I can tell you are a very guarded person...I'm not trying to be mean by any way. You dont use your husbands real name ever and you barely talk about why and what has made you sick. Maybe I missed that post. I do think you are a good person living in a messed up world just trying to survive and I think you are doing a great job doing it :) SO by all means Keep up the good work and make sure you know that no matter what in the end it will only be you and God so make choices that are better for him not anyone else :D <3 ya Girl :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of you, Crystal... I think of laughter. I think you are a listener. You have care and concern for everyone. I think you choose who you are guarded with. At times you have been extremely open with me. It probably depends on your level of comfort with whoever you are talking to. My take on you is that you are the type of person who would drop anything for her friends... but has a hard time reaching out when you need something.
ReplyDeleteGEEZ Crystal... I hope everyone realizes I didn't just all the sudden point those things out! lol!
ReplyDeleteI did say that you were like me in those areas.
Nicole, what you said to me was a good thing & I'm glad you pointed it out to me. :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as not using my husbands real name, well....His name is Daniel & I call him D. And since I write so much, I just always write D, instead of Daniel. I wasn't meaning to be guarded with that.
I pray that no one take this too personally, but this day and time people analyze toooooo much! If you are happy with yourself then what does it matter what anyone else thinks? You are an individual just like the rest of us. We all have our quirks. We just have to learn to accept and love each other regardless of our little idiosyncracies! (I can't believe I got the sp. right on that one without looking!) We won't always agree with each other but we can respect each other. I love you no matter what! Honey, you have a husband and family that loves you regardless! Don't go trying to change nothing!!! Do you hear me, Hootie? dd
ReplyDeleteI'm not analyzing...BUT it's nice to know what others see in you. It's a good thing that I asked this question & I'm not doing it to prove anything or gain acceptance. I know that I have a wonderful husband & an incredible family that loves me.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing this to learn more about myself. And Nicole & I were having an amazing conversation & that happened to come up. It's not like she just called me one day & said, "You are a private person & you need to change." It's good to be private, but it's also good to be open at times. I was just shocked that she saw me that way, not shocked in a bad way, but shocked because I didn't see myself like that. So anyway, thanks Auntie D...I love ya!
Okay My Turn!!!!
ReplyDeleteI feel like you have so much to offer to others, yet you are not free to do so. Because of your situation you don't always get to use the Gifts God has given you. You are an amazing person, and you know you kept me in Masters and I would not be where I am today without, so I hold a lot of respect for you. I don't feel you are able to be stretch like you use to be in Masters. I on the other hand can be used as a doormat, which isn't good either. So how do we find that balance? I'm not sure. I just know that you are usually a "happy" person who can help others see the light at the end of a tunnel. I could keep going, but for the sake of the others reading this I will stop. I love you for you who are! Glad to see others are responding!
Dear Crystal,
ReplyDeleteI love your blog & hearing about your family...it brings me great joy! We have never been close but I know that you are always available to listen. I personally think that we all have things that we guard close to our heart & why not. Some things are between you and GOD. However there is a tremendous release in being able to trust in others. Thank God for those people! Have I actually answered the question, probably not. I just know I consider you a friend & prayer partner when needed. So thanks for all that you are!
I like "dd"'s response. We are all created in God's image, therefore, worthy of respect. Yet, we are all different (praise the Lord - how boring life would be if we were all the same!). We all have room for improvement, therefore, we should strive to be more like Christ. We should NEVER worry about what other people think about us - we should ONLY be concerned about what God says and knows about us! We are not here to please man, we are here to please God. Crystal, I adore you. rg
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